


Butterfly Effect

by seulestial



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Overwhelmed Chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:48:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28227912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seulestial/pseuds/seulestial
Summary: “An angel like a wind blowing into my heart,You have changed me with your warmth.I'm not afraid anymore because you're by my side.And I won't let go of your hand.”Byun Baekhyun didn’t know how he went from comforting one of his fellow exo members, to being left behind confused by the other’s unexpected response. So much for getting fucked against the practice room walls.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Kudos: 11





	Butterfly Effect

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot inspired by the song Butterfly Effect by Exo. 
> 
> -
> 
> Do not cross-post on another site, I don't permit nor tolerate stealing works in any form/situation whatsoever.

“You guys go ahead, I’ll wait for Chanyeol to get out of the changing room. Don’t hog all the chicken, Kai!” Baekhyun waved his members away as they shuffled out of the dance practice room one by one. 

“No guarantees, hyung. Hurry up and come with Chanyeol hyung as soon as possible, all the members are pretty hungry right now so it wouldn’t last long anyway. Of course, we can always order more…” Kai trailed off as he scrolled through the notifications on his phone before nearly face planting himself in the door. D.O simply chuckled as he pulled the younger by the hand, tutting as Kai rubbed his nose in an attempt to assuage the pain temporarily. 

Baekhyun laughed along at the younger’s antics as he shook his head, Kai and Jongin were almost two different people. Kai, on one hand, was precise, sharp, and motivated towards the stage only, almost nothing could deter him from practicing a new choreography, or reviewing old steps. Jongin, on the other hand, was a clumsy and funny yet shy boy, full of laughter that could positively affect the other members. It was one of the reasons that Jongin had his laughter dubbed as the “contagious one” among the nine members, he held the ability to subtly cheer up without even trying. 

Once again, Baekhyun glanced at the changing room; why wasn’t Chanyeol coming out? He headed towards the door, it had been over 10 minutes since the taller male had gone in, how long did it take him to change his outfit? Baekhyun rapped his knuckles against the wooden door, “Chanyeol? Are you good?” He pressed his ears against the hard surface, trying to pick up any noise that would come from the inside. Upon careful concentration, he heard a series of quiet sniffles before he heard a series of coughs, probably made to cover up the obvious fact that Chanyeol, in fact, didn’t seem okay. 

“You’re not fooling anyone, Yeol. I’m coming in.” Baekhyun said, opening the door to a Chanyeol who was shivering while crouching on the floor, rocking his body back and forth. Baekhyun didn’t bother saying anything else, just going down on his knees to bring the other man into an embrace, putting the stop to the shivering temporarily.  
“I c-can’t breathe, it feels like my lungs are just sucking in the air, but maybe it’s because I kinda choked on my saliva while I was crying. I’m such a wreck, it’s honestly so shameful to show this side of me to you I-” Chanyeol cut himself off, taking in stuttering breaths of oxygen in the middle of his rant.

He felt Chanyeol’s back rise and fall as he heard the other gulp in deep breaths, attempting to steady his breath and straighten out his face, which was full of dried and fresh tear trails. A pang struck Baekhyun’s heart, he really didn’t like seeing his fellow member and friend being so sad, and the worst thing was that he didn’t know how to help. Chanyeol was the one who always helped others whenever they felt down, putting on a smile to his members and the public constantly. Thinking back, Baekhyun had never seen Chanyeol so broken like this, and he truly understood the concept of hiding behind masks. Sometimes, the people who seem the brightest on the outside were the ones who were hiding the most, one was truly unable to know everything about a person based on their external appearance. Chanyeol had helped Baekhyun multiple times for emotional support, there was nothing the other man knew that would help the younger male except to simply hold him. Sometimes, the act of physical touch could boost a person’s mood, as skin to skin contact helped with the release of dopamine, especially between people who could trust one another. 

“Just know… I’m always by you. You don’t need to talk to me, if you feel uncomfortable at all. And you, Park Chanyeol are far from a wreck, you can’t be perfect all the time. Sometimes, you just need to take off the mask for a moment and breathe.” Baekhyun quietly murmured into Chanyeol’s nape, hot breath grazing against the taller’s neckline. 

“I’m sorry, hyung. Everything’s just been whack the past few months, you know? Tao is on the brink of leaving the group, he hasn’t been a part of the Call Me Baby promotions, with the exception of the first show. And now, we’re back in just over a month with our repackage album, Love Me Right. If Tao leaves our group as well, I just don’t know how it’ll affect our group. There’s that, and the fact that the pressure to do better for these comeback promotions because Call Me Baby was one of our most successful comebacks. The fans, I don’t want to disappoint them as well, you know? And I know this situation seems all so dumb, like why is a grown ass man crying for god’s sake? I’m 24, for fucks sake,” Chanyeol let out a bitter chuckle as he brought up his forearm to wipe away the tears on his face. “And the embarrassing thing is that it’s not often that I cry, but once I do, it just becomes an explosion, like this. I feel like I’ve just been bottling up, and one by one, the bricks have been piling up inside me. You know, suppressing shit’ll eventually make something explode because it’s been pushed past the exceeding limit. I don’t want to show you guys the side of me that is less appealing, and I wanna be strong enough that I’m there for the members.” 

Baekhyun was momentarily stunned by Chanyeol’s true feelings, why was he not able to pick up the signs earlier? It certainly wasn’t natural that one was happy all the time, and come to think of it, Baekhyun hadn’t ever seen such a vulnerable side of Chanyeol. Chanyeol had his occasional outbursts of anger, as he was known as the one with the shorter temper in exo, but he hadn’t been able to release his emotions in front of the members. “I didn’t think that I would be breaking down in front of any of the members, I thought I was stronger than this.” Chanyeol sighed, he had crossed his bent knees into the pretzel position, leaning against the wall of the changing room. 

“Chanyeol, we’re all prone to break down sometime. Like you said, if you keep bottling things up inside, your feelings are bound to spew out like a volcano. Don’t feel ashamed of showing your emotions, it doesn’t make you any less strong, or any less of a man. Heck, you see Suho hyung, he cries all the time right?” Baekhyun added the last statement to lighten up the atmosphere, their leader had indeed shown his tears frequently, at award shows, when the two exo members left them last year(2014), and even at encores. Suho had always said that crying was like a stress reliever, and none of the members were surprised, rather, they encouraged it. Everyone had a different way of coping with their internal conflicts, but it seemed as if Chanyeol hadn’t found a method that worked for him yet. 

Chanyeol cracked a smile as he imagined their leader at MMA 2013, bawling his eyes out as it was the group’s first daesang. “See? Smile just like that for me. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to release stress, well… you might need to find a way to cope with negative feelings in a more positive way. You know I hit the gym, I don’t go simply for the making of my body. I go because the rush, the high after a workout is like a drug, it fuels my mind with positive energy. It’s kinda like healing… but I know you work out as well, it’s probably not the exact same for you…” Baekhyun rambled on, keeping his eyes focused on Chanyeol. 

“Hitting the gym doesn’t give that kind of ecstasy, but I guess there is that slight rush of energy once I do finish a challenging workout. I don’t know, I guess this talk helped a bit? I guess I just wanna say thank you, hyung. You accepted me even during this shameful state of mine, uh I think my mind feels much clearer?” Chanyeol’s knees cracked as he stood up, gathering his dirtied outfit to stuff in his duffel bag. 

Baekhyun skeptically looked up, it seemed as if the taller male wanted to avoid the topic, so he would leave it alone for a while. He could see that Chanyeol was holding back even more tears, eyes red and swollen from the crying session. 

“You can’t always be the therapist friend in our group, you know. I’m glad it helped, but Chanyeol, are you in the mood for cuddles, or do you want to test the theory?” Baekhyun stood up, wrapping his hand around the doorknob of the changing room door, walking out back into the practice room. 

“Huh? What theory?” Chanyeol seemed genuinely confused, his big eyes becoming rounder than usual as his eyebrows furrowed. 

“The theory that working out can indeed improve your mood. What do you say?” 

“We just had a two hour dance practice, you wanna hit the gym right now?” 

“No, I just meant something a bit more hands on, something a bit more interactive.” Baekhyun sauntered towards the silver haired man, backing him up towards the mirror wall. 

“Uh..?” Chanyeol could only utter out a single word as Baekhyun caged the taller man between his arms. There was no way that Baekhyun was suggesting what Chanyeol believed he was implying? 

“Yes, Chanyeol. I meant sex, you know, we don’t have to go all the way. We can start with simple handjobs, just to test out the waters if you’d like. Why do you think so many people resort to sex as a stress reliever? Heck, what do you think Sehun and Kai are doing in their shared room while the rest of the members are out? So, what do you say?” Chanyeol’s breath stuttered in his mouth as Baekhyun dragged a hand down from his pecs towards his sweatpants waistline. 

“Here? Now? It’s a public place, I mean, what if one of the members or choreographers come in?” Chanyeol managed to say. Ironically, even though he was the taller one, Baekhyun’s gaze made him feel small. 

“Are you telling me that you seriously do not want to experiment? I’m gonna be blunt here Yeol, I’ve seen the way you look at our members from time to time. Whether it’s Kai’s translucent shirt after an intense dance practice, or even when we shower together from time to time...” Baekhyun cocked his eyebrow, eyes full of skepticism as he briefly gazed at the practice room entrance. 

Taking Chanyeol’s silence as an opportunity to lean in, Baekhyun trailed his eyes from the other’s freshly dyed silver hair to his now-wide eyes; which were a specific shade of brown flecked with lighter tones imbedded around his pupils that reminded him of an oak tree bark that was somehow distinctly autumn. Something was simply comfortable about Chanyeol, Baekhyun always felt an extra level of intimacy and closeness with the younger male. 

By now, the distance between the two males had shortened into more or less a centimeter, their mouths hovering near each other, breaths mingling with one another. Baekhyun further took the opportunity to brush his lips against Chanyeol’s when the latter wasn’t pulling away. Chanyeol’s hands had been bunched up at his sides, gripping and releasing the fabric of his sweatpants repeatedly, he was simply frozen. 

Chanyeol’s usually sparkly and attentive eyes had faded into a hazy gaze, simply focusing on the tingling sensation on his lips where a distinct flavor of strawberry chapstick was the only reminder of what his friend had just done. There wasn’t even any time to process the events that had unfolded in a matter of minutes as Baekhyun slammed his lips against his, roughly sucking on his bottom lip with no mercy. The two men simply ravished in each other’s scents and tastes; as the only noises that emitted from the empty practice room were the occasional huffs and puffs along with the wet sounds that came from the busy exchange of swapping saliva. 

“Shit,” was the only word that Chanyeol muttered under his breath as he pulled away for air, rousing a breathy chuckle from the other male. 

Burying his head into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck, he took a deep breath before latching his mouth along the pulse of the shorter male’s neckline. Chanyeol’s warm breath ghosting along the surface of his skin combined with the sensations of prickling when Chanyeol began suckling hard enough to create a bruise put Baekhyun experiencing goosebump worthy shivers down his spine, hissing at certain moments as an involuntary response to the pain. Endorphins and adrenaline were definitely surging through his brain as the only thought that occupied his mind was the thought of being taken by Chanyeol at that exact moment, or even taking Chanyeol himself. 

Looping his index finger around Chanyeol’s waistband, Baekhyun made his way to pull down the other’s sweatpants when Chanyeol abruptly pulled away, putting distance between himself and the other male. 

“No, no, no…” Chanyeol repeated the two lettered word like a mantra, it was almost as if he was trying to ignore his palpitating heart and the brief makeout session he shared with Baekhyun. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. It had been going so well one moment, and in the next millisecond, the comforting warmth had disappeared as soon as it had come. 

“Wait, I’m sorry Baek, I can’t do this. Showering together is one thing, but this?” He back pedalled towards the other side of the room, eyes wide as he started pulling his hair, almost in disbelief and confusion. 

“It’s fine, totally good. Chanyeol, we don’t need to go any further if you’re not okay with it. I’m right here, aren’t I?” Baekhyun started to head towards the other male, slightly concerned as he looked at the frantically pacing male. Had he made Chanyeol uncomfortable? Perhaps he had read all the signs wrong? 

“Look Chanyeol, did I make you feel uncomfortable? I promise you, that wasn’t my intention at all. I hope we can pass by this incident smoothly so it doesn’t affect our group dynamic or our friendship. But I thought we were both in the mutual stage of enjoyment, you didn’t pull back.” Baekhyun gently tapped Chanyeol’s shoulder, only to be sharply pushed away with the swat of a hand. 

“I can’t believe I did this? What have I done? Why did I do this? It shouldn’t be this way,” Chanyeol whispered as he pulled his hair in frustration, pacing getting even faster. 

“Chanyeol? Calm down, what way?” Baekhyun tried to brush off the fact that Chanyeol constantly kept pushing him away, he assured himself that it was probably the shock Chanyeol was feeling at that moment. 

“Calm down? Calm down?! I am way far from calm, thanks, Baekhyun. You- you…” Chanyeol pointed his index finger at Baekhyun for a few seconds, glare softening into resignation as he shook his head, staring at the floor. 

“I wasn’t supposed to like it! You’re a fucking guy, Baekhyun. I was in the stage of questioning my sexuality for a couple of years before we debuted, but once I got into SM, the work simply made me forget. Now, you simply brought up all the feelings that I buried! Are you fucking kidding me?” Chanyeol felt like he was at his wit’s end, he thought he had gotten past his questioning stage because he hadn’t thought about feeling for a guy in a long while. 

“Is that what this is about? Chanyeol, you’re not mad at me because I made you uncomfortable but because I made you dig up your past emotions? You’re afraid, you’re struggling with internalized homophobia. I’m sorry that I dug up your ‘buried’ feelings, but hadn’t you told all of us that you were interested in both males and females?”

“Can we just not talk about this? I don’t even want to think about sexualities right now, I just feel drained, Baekhyun. We finished dance practice a while ago, and while I do appreciate that you checked up on me, I don’t think this is one of the talks I wanna have right now.” Chanyeol sighed, rubbing his temples as he looked at the taken aback male in front of him. 

“All right, I understand. But, maybe we can at least pretend that nothing’s wrong in front of the members? You probably don’t want them to worry as well right? And I’m assuming you wouldn’t want to talk to them about this,” Baekhyun dejectedly replied, nodding as he looked at the taller man. 

“There’s no way that the members are hearing about this. See you later, Baek. Tell the members I went on a walk, I need to clear my head.” Chanyeol managed to get out before he stalked out of the room, quick strides indicating that he needed to get out of that suffocating atmosphere as soon as possible. 

It almost seemed to return to the moment approximately 20 minutes ago when he literally felt the air turn into pudding in his lungs, thick and viscous. 

Baekhyun blankly looked at the swinging door which held the fleeting male’s figure moments before. What had he done?

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while - and shocker - an exo work that isn't smut for once lmao;; 
> 
> Leave a kudos and/or a comment if you liked it!


End file.
